Call of the Sleeping Heart
by ShadowsWeaver1
Summary: A call sounds out in the darkness that only Kagome can hear. A call of pain and of anguish, a call come forth from one cursed to suffer. She heeds the call because there is no other way. To ease their suffering, to calm their soul, to end their pain.
1. Call of the Sleeping Heart

The Call of the Sleeping Heart

Pulled.  
Forward must I go.  
Towards what awaits, but what shall I find?

Nothingness surrounds me; an endless black, devoid of all light, shape, and sound.  
No thought lies here, no will.  
Only the pull.

And so I move forward because I must, because there is no other way.  
I have been called, but who is it that seeks me?

No thought, no sound; only the call, only the purpose.  
I must move forward.

One step and then another, slowly I draw near.  
The call sounds out.  
It is need, it is desire; it is lost as I am.

And so I move, towards what awaits.  
I must go forward, I must heed the call.

I must.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Kagome!"

Inuyasha, he was there beside me, shaking me from the dream, breaking me away from the call. He looked at me with eyes of worry, with fear, with confusion; but what can I say? The call had come again, come again to steal away my dreams until there is only that which I must follow. And again I had heeded the call; again I had moved my body without ever knowing. Again my spirit had pulled me towards that haunting call.

"I'm sorry Inuyasha," I said to him trying to ease his concerns. "Was I sleepwalking again?"

"Keh," he huffed as he finally released his hold on my shoulders. "Of course you were! That makes it every day this week Kagome! Who ever heard of someone walking in their sleep with nowhere to go?"

I hadn't told him of the call. I couldn't, for what would I say? He would immediately think it was a trick, a diversion, something thought up by one of our enemies to draw me away from him; but I knew it could not be that. The call that had sounded out to me for the past week was one of pain. From where and by whom I did not know; but I knew that the call was meant only for me.

Every time Inuyasha had pulled me away from the sleep where my body would answer to the call without my knowledge, there would be no lingering traces of where the call had come from, no path for me to follow, no way to know how to find the one that called me.

At first I had been afraid. I had believed that my sleepwalking would place me in terrible danger. But as the days wore on, the call became stronger, pulling me with more need, filling me with more understanding. They were alone, they were in pain; they called to me because only I could take that away. And so I answered, moving my body without my mind; being led by only the call and my spirit which willingly followed.

"Inuyasha," I began hesitantly in a soft voice, "I think that it would be best if I went home for a while."

"What are you taking about Kagome?" He was confused, and strangely speaking to me without anger at my wish to go back to my home.

"I think that, maybe, I've been gone for too long. I think that my walking has something to do with what I have left behind. My unconscious is trying to tell me something, Inuyasha. I need to try and find out what that is. Until I can find the answer to that, I am putting myself and you all in danger."

"Please," I added when it looked as though he would protest. He sighed and looked deeply into my eyes; searching for something I would never know to look for.

"Alright," he finally relented, "I'll take you home, but you have to promise me you will come back in three days."

I smiled at him; a gesture of thanks and of understanding. He was worried about me too. He wanted to know what was happening to me as well. But this was something I could not share with him. This was something I needed to do on my own.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Night had fallen on the following day. The stars overhead blinked in their merry way and the moon bathed the world below with a calming glow. On the breeze, gentle but chilled, the soft sounds of the night soothed me and gave me comfort.

I wrapped my heavy sweater tightly around my shoulders and nestled into my sleeping bag to prepare for sleep. Inuyasha had returned me to my home, but as night fell, I had come back. I needed to find the answer to the question of the call, and it was only here that I could do that. I leaned back against the aged wood of the well and lifted my eyes to the sky. I was looking for guidance; I was looking for an answer that I knew could not be found within the vast reaches of the nighttime sky.

Soon my eyes grew heavy with sleep, pulling away my resolve to stay awake; to stay alert. Sleep claimed me without contest, dropping me deep into the world of dreams.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No thought, no voice, no sound.  
Only the darkness and the whispered call;  
Pulling me from within;

Directing me to go when there was nowhere and nothing around me.  
Pain and sorrow; suffering and loss;  
It calls out to me.

I must heed the call.  
I must move forward.

One step and then another.  
Always must I move forward,  
There is no other way.

Onwards into the black, forward towards the call;  
To ease their suffering, to calm their soul, to end their pain;  
I move forward.

I must.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sudden jerking ripped me away from the call. I looked down at the rope I had tied around my waist and sighed. This was not a good way to be woken up. Unfortunately, this was the only way I could think of that would allow me to follow the direction of the call and still be awake enough to not get killed in the process.

I took a moment to check the direction I had been headed, and then took a look up at the stars to get my bearings. Once satisfied I knew my direction, I untied the rope, went back to gather my supplies and my weapon, and set off into the woods to follow the source of the call.

I walked for what seemed like hours. Slipping past tangles of trees and weaving through thick bushes and around rushing river waters. Every now and then I would stop in a clearing to check the position of the stars and reset my course. But still I pressed on. I was determined to put an end to this mystery, and I was certain that I would find the answers I sought if I followed the direction given to me by my unconscious mind.

Back in the hopeless tangle of trees, I continued my search. I didn't know what I was looking for or even if I would recognize it once found, but I had to move on. The call still cried out in my heart; begging for me to come, to save whoever it was from their pain. I had to find them.

Suddenly I became aware of the presence of a youkai. The presence was not threatening, but it was incredibly strong. I filled the area with a tremendous pulse of power so thick that even without my miko abilities I could have felt the heaviness of the air as the power hung suspended around me. There was no movement in the surrounding trees, no sound. Every living thing had left this place be out of fear of what lay waiting.

But this was what I had come to see. I knew it with a certainty that I could not dispute. What lay beyond in the next clearing was what I had sought out. What lay beyond was the one who had called me here.

I stood still for a moment, weighing the possibilities of what was to come. I was gripped by the cold hands of fear, and yet, at the same time, filled with the warming breath of hope. Something waited for me beyond. Something that had called out to my soul, pulled on my heart, led me forward with no direction. Something needed me, and I would not back away now.

I took a step forward, and then another. I was moving, but I could barely feel my feet against the ground. My mind was filled with possibilities, with unanswered questions, with expectancy, and with anxiety; but I pressed onward because I needed to know.

The trees parted and I entered the clearing. A gentle mist wrapped around me, warm and comforting it soothed my nerves. But through the haze I could not see what lay ahead. Fear gripped me again, warning me that there may be danger, that this may be a trap; but I pushed it away, focusing on my need and on that of the other. I was determined, and not even my own fear would stop me now that I was so close.

My senses were alert and ready. I could hear the soft rippling of water against rocks, and I knew the sound came from the nearby spring which had given off all of the mist surrounding me. The trees rustled softly as the slight breezes of the night swayed their branches a brushed together their leaves. But there was another sound coming from out of the mist, a sound which made my skin tighten with shivers of unease.

A rumble so soft I could have missed it if I were not so alert; a steady rhythm, a constant pulse. Alive: I knew what it was I heard. Breathing, soft and peaceful, but rumbling through the air creating vibrations through the mist in its wake. The being I had sought out was here; and more than that it was huge.

The steady rhythm continued, almost soothing in its constant lull. I followed the sound. No longer afraid, but curious as to why the great creature would have called me, why the pulse of heavy youki surrounding me would bring comfort and not fear, why my miko powers were no being drawn forth to confront a treat of such power.

As I neared the water, the mist began to part. I could see ahead again through the lifting fog, and I made my way slowly; cautious of what may lie in wait.

Ahead, I could begin to see something apart from the swirling mists. It lay concealed in the fog, a massive form of white blending in so well with its surroundings. I made my way towards it; cautious, and yet strangely devoid of fear. As I approached I began to see more details of the great beast. The white I had seen was that of soft, clean fur which from so close seemed to gleam in the moonlight filtering through the mists. I could see the steady rise and fall of its side as it breathed in and out, and hear more clearly the soft rumbling of its breath.

It was so still, but not in an unnatural way. The creature I was looking upon was peaceful and serene in this place; it was sleeping.

Slowly and silently I made my way around the massive form. I could see a leg tucked and curled beneath the heavy frame, I could see the claws adorning the massive paw; sharp and deadly they glinted in the darkness.

My heart speed its rhythm in my chest: a pounding that could be felt through my whole body and which seemed to echo within my head. I realized what I was looking at. This youkai was not a simple beast, but rather an Inu, a dog.

My breath hitched at the realization. I had only ever met one true inyoukai, and he was not one who would like for his privacy to be disturbed. But if it were he, would he not have awoken by now? Would he not have made me leave, or even given me the opportunity?

I waited silently for my breathing to steady and for the pounding of my heart to calm to a bearable pace. Nothing moved; there was no sound; there was only the steady rise and fall of the great beast's massive chest and the soft vibrating rumbles it released. Calm and peaceful surroundings soon settled my racing heart and tightened lungs. I began to move again.

Carefully I made my way around the great beast, slowly inching my way towards its head so that I could look upon its face. As I neared, the sound of its breathing grew louder, and I could feel the disturbance left in the heavy air with each release of breath. I was forced, yet again, to take a moment to steel my resolve before I could press forward again.

When I could finally see his face, I gasped. My body froze with fear of what was known, and that of which was not.

"Sesshomaru." I spoke his name in a whisper so soft it was like a prayer slipping from my lips.

He did not stir. He didn't even seem to be aware of my presence. But how could such a thing be? How could one with senses so keen not be aware that I was so near? He slept on; seemingly oblivious, seemingly uncaring.

Whatever resolve I had, it was slipping away from me faster than I could take hold of it. I knew this beast, I knew what he was capable of; and I knew that if he were to find me here, if he were to awaken to see me, I may not escape with my life.

I took a step backwards, away from the sleeping giant.

As soon as I had made the movement however, he stirred. A restless shift in his sleep accompanied by a small whining sound that even when coming from one as large as he I knew to be a whimper. It was my movement that had caused his reaction, I was sure of it. Slowly, as I looked upon him, my fear began to slip away again.

"Was it you that called me here?" I asked in an awed whisper. "Is it you that feels such pain?"

I had come to this place to follow a call of one in need. I had come because my heart and my soul told me that I must. I had come to ease away the suffering of the other. And as I looked upon him in his slumber, I knew that it was his call I had answered without ever knowing.

"Sesshomaru," I called as I stepped towards him again, "Would you have me to comfort you? Is this what you want?"

There was no answer, only the steady breath and the silence of the clearing broken by the low rumbling of his chest. I stepped forward again, close enough now to reach out and touch the soft, gleaming fur, close enough to feel the heat of his breath washing over me. I was not afraid anymore.

I knelt down next to him and touched my hand to the great paw on which his head rested, but still there was no movement, still there was no response. Beneath my fingers I could feel the softness of his immaculate pelt. The delicate wisps of fur slipped through my appreciative fingers as easily as water as I ran my hand across his paw.

I was smiling when I looked back at his face. But though I had hoped he would have awoken by my touch, still he slept on. For a moment I merely studied him. I traced the lines of crimson streaking across the white of his fur like fresh blood upon pristine white snow, and the contrasting soft blue hue of the crescent moon upon his brow. I had never seen him from so close before. I had never had the time to appreciate the beauty and the majesty of this incredible form.

For all his power and the image of ice he projects, seeing him here, now; I could see a creature at peace. I could see him without struggle, without anger, without pride. I could see him as he was, free of anything holding him back. He was incredible.

I pulled my hand away from where it had been stroking him with long and lazy strokes, but as I did so he shifted uneasily again and again released a whimper that told me that he wanted me to stay, that he needed me to.

I didn't know what to do. Even if it was Sesshomaru that had called me here, even if as he was he wanted me to stay; it was still his sleeping mind that wanted these things. If I stayed any longer I would risk being caught by his conscious mind, and I had no reason to believe that such an encounter would end well for me. But how could I leave him when every time I tried to move away he would whimper like someone who was lost? How could I walk away now when I had finally found the one calling out to me? How could I leave him alone to face such horrible pain?

I couldn't. Deep down I knew that. Even if it meant him waking and finding me with him, I couldn't leave him when I knew that he had called to me. Even if it was an unconscious call, even if once he awoke he would be angry for what I had done; I could not leave him now.

I shifted my body to lie out on the ground, resting my head upon the soft fur of his paw. He instantly calmed again at my touch, and the steady tranquility of his breathing once again filled the air. I watched him for as long as I was able, taking in the sight that I never though I would be able to see again. But it had been a long journey to find this place, and I was tired. Soon my eyes slipped shut of their own accord and I fell into dreams again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Warmth filled the darkness.  
Calm was everywhere.

Still no thought nor will nor way, but now no reason;  
There needed be none.

I was filled with the warmth.  
In darkness I was content.

No thought, no will no way; only feeling.  
Soothing and comforting,  
Relaxed and still;

No need, no purpose, no doubt, no fear;  
Only the darkness and its warmth,  
Only the stillness and its tranquility,  
Only feeling, only pleasure.

I am here.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I awoke to the calls of the morning. Birds on their perches high above called out to welcome the day. Happy and carefree, they greeted the morn.

But in the clearing by the spring, I was alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: I have no idea if I will continue this or not. It was simply an idea put into words, fueled by inspiration. My mind works in mysterious ways sometimes, even I don't know why it does the things it does.

**Insanity Lord:** If you are reading this and have noticed, yes the inspiration I spoke of was your nightmare poem. Though, of course, I have added my own twist to the trappings of dreams, still I must have been moved enough by your message to be compelled to write something in such parallel. So thank you….I think. I'm not really sure if this is any good. I guess we shall see.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters. But a girl can dream, for no one may claim ownership over ones dreams.

ShadowsWeaver1


	2. Cursed to Dream

Cursed to Dream

In darkness, fear shall make you blind.  
In pain and anguish, hath you no mind.  
Call out you must, to she that hears;  
And bright maiden's touch shall ease your fears.

Bound heart and soul are you to she.  
One light and one dark; this shall it be.  
Until the day becomes the night;  
Let love's sweet spell save you from fright.

But should one fall before that time;  
So shall the other, not far behind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I had asked her why. Asked her why she would curse her own son.

'Only you would see love as a curse,' she had replied. 'Love may be beautiful, Sesshomaru. It is time you learned that.'

But I wanted no part of her game, nor of the love she spoke of. I was content as I was. I needed no one and nothing but for my own strength, but for my own abilities. Conquest: such was the path I was walking. I had no time for her foolishness, nor for her mislead guidance. She had never cared before, she had never interfered. Why now would she seek to break down all I had built since the fall of my great and terrible father?

'I grow old, Sesshomaru. I grow tired. I wish to see the light again; the light shining in the eyes of a child.'

She believed her curse would find me a mate; believed I would play along with her game. She believed that a simple spell would be enough to cause me to yield to the warming touch of a woman's hand.

She was wrong.

I would never play her game as she wished it, never allow myself to be manipulated; never fall into the trap of love. Beautiful, she had called it; but I knew better. Love was more a curse than the words she bound me with. Love would break even the strongest man, bring him to his knees, steal away his pride, and even his life.

It was love which had been the only thing strong enough to fell my father, and I would not follow in his footsteps; I would not make his mistakes.

I turned away from her, leaving her sitting upon her throne. It was for her loneliness that she had cursed me. It was for her broken heart she wished mine to bleed as well. But I would not give her the pleasure. She could never break me. I left her there alone, and I did not care. Her life would end soon, and I would not mourn its passing. She would die alone as my father had before her, as I would after them both. Such was the way of youkai; we were never meant to love.

I would bare the pain as I had so much before now. I would never call out to the one that could hear. I would never allow her near enough to see my anguish. She, whoever she was, would never be the one to ease my fears; for I feared nothing. No amount of pain, no level of suffering would ever make me sink so low as to call out to a worthless bitch for help.

I left the palace of the moon behind me, and with it any thought of my mother's curse.

In the clouds I found my way again. I had control of the air itself; the formless winds obeyed my command and parted for me to pass. For me to live I needed power, for me to go on I needed strength. I had these things. Strength and power were mine to command. The world bowed down before me in fear, and those who did not lived only long enough to learn why they were wrong to underestimate me.

Since my father there had never been one with such power as I. There had never been one able to stand against me on their own. The only vermin I had left to contest with was the lowly scum who coveted a power beyond what they owned. But it was not those who wielded the strength of the Shikon that I would contest, but the resonating power of the jewel itself. I would stand against its fabled might, and I would destroy it as I had all threats before.

Conquest: such is the path I walk.

No man may stand before me in my path, for he shall be cut down by my might. The world shall fall at me feet and beg for mercy only I may bequeath.

'I am strong,' I had told myself, 'I shall never fall victim'. But I could never have been prepared for the dreams.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Blackness: deep and terrifying.  
No sight, no sound, only the terror.

Creeping through me like a disease,  
It spread until there was nothing else.

No thought, no will, no way;  
Only the pain, only the suffering.

I was trapped and yet I was nowhere.  
I was alone and yet I was not.  
Always with me was the horror;  
Always beside me, within me, was the pain.

Unimaginable, it cut through me.  
Unbearable, it seared my soul.  
Unthinkable, it tore at my sanity.

No thought, no will, no way;  
Only the blackness that was all consuming,  
Only the horror that was never ending,

I needed for it to end.  
I needed to find the way out.

I need.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The first time I awoke from the darkness of my dreams to the bright light of the morn, I had thought I was seeing heaven's light. So consuming had been the endless black of my nightmare that I had never believed I would be free of it. When I felt again the warmth of the sun, and heard again the life of the world; I found beauty in it I had never imagined before. I found peace in the gentle lull of nature's embrace, so soft and soothing when pitted against the horror lurking in the darkness, so warm when compared to the chill of death's hand.

I had done the unthinkable. In my pain and anguish, I had lost my resolve. In my horror, I had lost my will. In the darkness, I had lost my mind.

I had called out to her; called out to the only one who could set me free. I cried from a place where I was nowhere; called out into the emptiness. I called out to her because I knew she could save me from what held me, because I knew only she would set me free from the horrible pain.

I was repulsed with what I had done.

How could I have fallen so easily? How could I have let the walls enclosing my soul be breached by such a pathetic trick? How could I fear when there had been nothing to fear? How could I have been so easily broken? How?

But how could I fight against something with no form? How could I prepare myself for something which tore at me from the inside and not from without? How could I face an enemy, when the only enemy was within me?

The only solace I was granted, the only reprieve from the madness of the curse cast upon me; was the knowledge that she had not heeded my call of weakness. She hadn't come to me on this night. Perhaps it was that she would never come. But could I truly face such horrors every time I closed my eyes?

I needed to find a way to end the curse.

The curse had consumed me. Every waking moment I would spend searching for the way to end its madness, and every moment I slept it would come and steal away another piece of my soul in the darkness. With every passing day I was falling further into the trap, deeper into the madness; but no matter what I did, I could not find any peace, I could not find the way to end the suffering.

Six days, and still she had not come. Six days I had suffered the unbearable pains of the blackened dreams, and for six nights I had called out to the one who could end it all; but still she had not answered. I was beginning to think it was all a lie, that there was no one who could put an end to my pain, no one who could ease the suffering. For surely, if she were affected by the curse as I was, she would find a way to seek me out.

I had lost all resolve to keep her away. So deep and so horrible was the anguish I endured that I welcomed anyone who could bring it to an end. The calls became louder in the deathly silence of the dark, filled with more need, with more urgency. But still she did not come; still I was forced to suffer.

But I could not go back to the one that had cast the spell. I would not reveal to her my weakness. My mother, for all the uselessness of that word when it came to her, would never remove her curse nor would she ever feel any sympathy for me and my plight as I would not for her. No, if I wanted to find a way to end the suffering, I needed to do it on my own.

As always, I was alone.

When night fell on the seventh night, I had resigned myself to what I knew awaited in the darkness. The dreams would come with no way to stop them. The pain would return to steal away with it another piece of my soul. The call would sound, tore forth from my very core; and still there would be no answer.

I was cursed to live as such: alone and in pain with no end in sight.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hidden in darkness, I could see the light.  
It called out to me as I to it, and grew brighter.

As it neared, I could feel its warmth.  
As it approached, it chased away the shadows.

No direction in its path,  
No thought as to its course;  
But no way to stop its coming.

In darkness I was no longer,  
For it was light that had saved me;  
Pulled me from the terror,  
Eased away the pain.

No thought, no will, no way;  
But no longer a need.

Soothing and comforting it embraced me;  
Bright and warm it filled me with life.

I could hear its voice whispering to me;  
I could feel it there all around me;  
Cutting through the emptiness it warmed me.

I am here.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

As daylight broke I could feel myself waking. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity I was not in haste to break apart from my dreams. All around me I could feel the warmth of the gentle mists of the spring and hear the soft calls ushered up to greet the day. I was relaxed and content, I was calm and tranquil; I had no desire to open my eyes.

But it was the scent that told me I must. A scent so soft and so fresh that I knew it could not belong the world. It was sunshine upon a field of flowers, energy of a coming storm; it was beauty and purity. But despite its welcome allure; it was alive.

I opened my eyes to look upon the one who rested so near to me. In my heart I knew that it was she that had answered my call, she that had taken away the pain; but in my mind I also knew that it was she who had seen my weakness, and she that had come only now after so much suffering.

She was sleeping; resting herself against my paw as though it were the most natural thing in the world to her. Her midnight hair cascaded across her face in rippling waves to rest in stark contrast to the vivid white of my fur. I allowed my eyes to follow the line of her body, wondering if those curves, which seemed so soft and supple, would be just that. I could see the steady rise and fall of her chest as she took in air, and I found myself mesmerized by rhythmic motion.

But there was something that caught my attention which drew my sight away from the hypnotic rise and fall of her chest. Resting by her covered face, one small hand gripped tightly to my fur. Her skin, though pale, was still tinged a subtle pink; and though smooth, I could see the lines of age and wear creased across that hand. This woman was human.

As soon as I realized the fact that this repulsive creature was touching me in such a way, a growl rumbled forth from my chest. I didn't care any more that this woman had been the one to pull me from the nightmare, nor did I care that she seemed as content as I had only moments before I came upon the realization. I would not lower myself to be bound to such a pathetically weak creature. The pain didn't matter anymore, nor the suffering I would have to endure; I would not allow such a disgrace to befall me.

The growl pouring out of me caused the woman to stir. He midnight hair pushed back from where it had covered her face and I immediately stilled. This woman was not simply an ordinary human; this was the miko of the Shikon, the woman-child that traveled with my half-breed brother in search of the jewel. The power I could feel coming from her, the electricity in her scent; it was her strength, it was her purity.

"Shhh," her sleep-fogged voice sounded out to me as she moved her hand to run along my paw in a soothing motion. "I won't leave you, Sesshomaru. I promise."

She had come to me knowing who and what I was. She had come knowing what I could do to her. She had put herself in danger to answer my call, to put an end to my pain. She, who had been my enemy; would offer me comfort and compassion when I deserved none.

I pulled away from her, easing myself away from where she rested so that she would not awake. I couldn't confront her now when I could not understand what she had done. I need time, and I needed answers. There was only one place I could go.

I pushed off from the ground to propel myself into the skies. Towards the clouds I soared, towards the palace of the moon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N: Ok, seriously, I wasn't going to work on this story for a long time, if ever. But then **hentai18ancilla** just had to go and ask WHY Sesshomaru would be in such pain, and that of course made me wonder the same thing. So, now that there is an answer I can rest a little easier, and get back to writing that battle scene that I have been putting off for far too long in My Experiment.

On a different note, this was the first time I have tried to write in Sesshomaru's point of view. How'd I do? I am rather curious. It is so much easier to leave him as the mysterious enigma and to have others guessing as to his motives, but to actually try to get into his head I found to be very difficult.

Anyways, that's enough out of me.

Cheers

ShadowsWeaver1

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters. But a girl can dream, for no one may claim ownership over ones dreams.


	3. Cold Rage

Cold Rage

Anger.  
Blinding, terrifying.  
Making me fear even with my eyes open.

Fury.  
Painful, burning.  
Could I but scream though my voice is lost.

Hatred.  
For my weakness,  
Because it was his.

No call sounds in the light of the day.  
But no light comes to me in the darkness of my thoughts.  
Why do I remember? Why can I not forget?  
Why do I close my eyes wishing for only a moment to dream again?

Confusion.  
Destructive, consuming.  
Stealing away a dream never mine to know.

Sorrow.  
Heavy, hurting.  
Breaking my heart from pieces already scattered.

Loneliness.  
As my tears fall,  
Because he will never see them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why am I here?

I couldn't help but wonder. Why had I returned? The sun was setting on yet another day, and again I sat by the well. Waiting. Fearing the moment the light faded, afraid of when sleep would come. But still I was there, still I waited. I could do nothing else. I sat in fear, but in need of knowing that darkness of the dreams was still there, that he was still there.

I didn't want to, didn't think I could bear the pain again as I was filled with his suffering in the deepness of the dark, my spirit struggling to hear a voice that would never come, that would never call out to show me the path, that would never accept the comfort my heart ached to bring him.

I wanted to hate him. Hate his pride and his prejudice. Hate the heart that was cold as the blade he wielded. Hate him for what he had done to me.

I had been cursed, cursed to feel his pain, to know of his suffering; but more to have heard his call, to have answered it with my very soul, only to have the voice silenced, the soothing tranquility of the darkness become hard and built of fear and pain.

He had cursed me, and I wanted to hate him for it.

But I couldn't.

And so I found myself here again. Waiting for night to come, for the dream to take over, for the nightmare to begin again. I watched as the sun slipped low upon the horizon, watched the sky be ignited with color, alive with the blazing fires for the last moments before the darkness could come again. I watched in fear, in helplessness, in hopelessness.

I risked so much to go to him, knowing I was putting myself in danger, leaving myself open and vulnerable to the threat of ambush and attack. I knew these things, but still I had gone. I had gone because I had no choice, because I couldn't stand to know that the voice that called to me would suffer so when I could do something to ease their pain. That it had been He, knowing who he was, what he was, having suffered under his attacks, seen the beast concealed within, felt his devastating power and the cold and savage burn of his anger and his wrath; and still I would have done anything to bring peace to his tortured soul.

I would still.

Sesshomaru, what binds you so to your pain? Why does the misery and anguish you are forced to suffer more bearable to you than the hand that could take it away? Why deny yourself this? Why deny me? Because I am human? Is that really your only reason? You, who are as much a warrior as any I have ever known, of mind and body. You, who would not take action without reason, who holds honor above all else. Such petty differences seem beneath you somehow.

What is it you fear? What is it in the darkness that terrifies you so? What brings you such pain?

Let me help you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the void of darkest nights,  
Lost in an eternity of anguish, pain, and sorrow,  
I wander.

Trapped.  
Nothingness surrounds me.  
No thought, no will, no way.  
The black is everywhere.  
The pain is everything.

Call out to me.  
I know you can.  
Let me hear you voice.  
I know I can set you free.

No mind, no body,  
But still I can feel.  
And my heart is breaking.  
Breaking for you.

I no longer have a path to follow,  
A will to lead me, a heart to guide me.  
I no longer hear your voice in the darkness.

Can you hear mine?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A howl of fury, of pain, of misery, broke through the deep bindings of the darkness. I was startled awake, pulled away from the dream with frightening immediacy. It hadn't been the call, hadn't been the voice speaking to my heart in the trappings of the darkness and begging for me to come. It was something else, something born of a different pain, of a different need.

I didn't know what had caused the change, what had unleashed his wrath; but I knew the feeling of dread, of cold fury, of anger, and of pain. I knew these things, had felt them before, had been a part of the cold rage of battle.

But how could he fight when bound by the curse of the dreams, how could he pull away from the shackles of pain and the trappings of his anguish?

He couldn't. That was why I had heard his voice, heard the beast howling out its fury. He was still being held, his hands tied by the dark bindings of his curse. But still, he would fight. The killing blade, the assassin. He would fight. Even in a haze of darkness, lost in the wandering chaos with no eyes to see and no mind of anything but for the pain, his will held strong.

But for how long? I wasn't going to wait to find out. However unwilling, he had shown me the way. The howl of his fury, though not the call in the darkness, had still spoken to me, had given me direction in the endless void of the dark.

I didn't waste any time. Quickly donning my pack and my weaponry, I slipped out of my sleeping bag and began to run. I didn't know where I was going or how long it would take to get there, but my body was fueled by my determination, my strength given to me by my will and my heart. I ran, seemingly forever, the trees and the valleys, the rivers and streams slipping by with hardly any notice. My only focus was my destination, though I didn't know where that was.

The heavy beats of my heart as it pushed my blood through my veins, the deep steadiness of my breathing that pulled air into my lungs, and the pounding of my feet against the ground became all I knew. I didn't know I was going, but with every step I knew, somehow, that I was going in the right direction, that I was drawing nearer.

The ground began to slope, the soft grasses of the fields breaking away against the hard surfaces of stone. I was forced to climb. The rocks, crumbling and sliding under my feet, hard against my skin as my legs scraped against the stone; only obstacles that I would overcome. Up, always higher, I pulled myself, pushed myself beyond limits of reach and of safety. I climbed even though my muscles screamed in protest. I climbed even though the safety of grassy hills was quickly disappearing beneath the towering heights of the mountain.

He was there. I could feel him, feel the heavy vibrations of his aura snapping around me in uncontained fury, in invisible wrath. But there were others, as well. So weak in comparison to the immensity of his power, their presence was held from me until I was nearly on top of them.

Pulling myself upwards still, I finally managed to gain footing on a landing, a shelf of rock that spread out along the mountain wall. Had I time to catch my breath, it would have been lost again when my eyes finally saw the horror of what was before me.

Lizards, lithe bodies of scale and horns with fierce claws and dripping fangs protruding from hissing maws, but with leathery wings like those of dragons. They were so small, but in comparison to his massive size, anything would look small. Each of them was perhaps as long as I was tall, nothing more than an insect attaching itself to the great best. But there were so many. They had swarmed him, their fangs and claws ripping against the shielding of his pelt, tearing into him until his blood flowed and the sharp flashing of their scales under the light of the moon was muted beneath a coating of crimson.

He was standing, but hardly, the weight of his frame supported against the rock walls of the mountain. His movements were responsive but sluggish in their absence of direction and aim, his fangs clashing, his claws tearing at air. He wasn't seeing, only responding to a threat he knew was there but could not open his eyes to. It was instinct that drove the beast, primal defenses that even bound could not be restrained.

Around him, the ground was littered with the bodies of those creatures that had not escaped, that had already fell victim to his claws and fangs. But so many more were still left to swarm his body and tear away at his slack defenses.

He stumbled in a movement made groggy by his haze of unawareness, his body slamming against the rock. I could hear the terrible screeches of the creatures that had been trapped beneath him, their bodies crushed under his massive weight; but the sound was distant, muffled and unfocused in comparison to the strained growl that tore from his throat.

I couldn't stand to watch any longer. I couldn't let this go on.

Pulling my bow from my shoulder, I strung it quickly with an arrow and took aim. "Sesshomaru," I had whispered his name, praying that he could hear, that he could understand. And then I released.

The arrow cut through the air in a brilliant wave of white light that ignited the dark of night. The creatures with mind to turn lived only long enough to see the form of their demise, but many had not even that. So brilliant was the light that it smothered the dark fires that gave life to their spirits, youkai fallen by the touch of purity.

_How many?_ In the burn of power and the falling of ash, I couldn't see how many had fallen or how many remained. I wouldn't take a chance. I strung another arrow and took aim, holding against the strain of the bow, waiting for another target to be made visible.

But though set and ready, I had not been prepared for the sudden surge of power. It exploded outwards from where he had stood, sending shuddering quakes through the stone. I lost my balance and was forced to abandon my aim to steady myself. Then another blast, this time focused, the energy ripping through the air with unmistakable intent. My arms cam up to guard my face instinctively, bracing against the fallout. When at last the wave of scorching heat and searing energy had passed, I slowly and tentatively began to lower my arms.

He had changed, had taken on a different form in the burn of his power. The image of the great beast had been concealed behind barriers of control and of restraint. He stood as a man, the brilliant white of his fur replaced by skin of porcelain perfection defining his strong features and a mane of silver hair that captured the moonlight to dance upon its surface in shifting waves of crystal light.

His eyes were open. But the piecing gold was clouded, the sharpness dulled by a darkness coming from within.

I could see the dangerous glint of his blade in the moonlight, but he did not raise it against me. He wavered, the strong stance I had so often seen of him breaking as his control began slipping away again. I knew I had to do something.

I stepped closer to him, the movement careful, guarded, and slow. I could see him stiffen, his body become rigid as he fought against himself. He looked trapped, as if caught between his need to stay and his desire to go.

"Sesshomaru," I called his name as I took another step. "Please, let me help you."

His features were contorted away from the mask of placid nonchalance I had always seen him wear. His pain, his confusion, it was so clear in that moment. He had heard my voice, but it was almost as though he did not recognize it.

A fierce growl tore from his throat, and I stopped moving. I was afraid. Afraid of him, afraid for him. I watched as his eyes lost their focus, growing heavy under the bindings of the curse, seeking to trap him again in the darkness. He shook it away, trying again to focus on me, to see who it was that had given him this moment of freedom.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed away my fear and moved closer. I understood that somehow it had been my power that broke him from his trance, that had freed him from the dream long enough to let him fight back. Why, I did not know; but I knew that I could not turn away from him, that I would not. Not now. Not knowing that he would be left again so vulnerable to attacks that he should have been able to push aside as though they were nothing.

I was standing right in front of him, so close that I could reach out and touch him. But I held myself still, waiting, waiting for him to accept me, to accept my offer of help. "Please," I begged for him to listen, to hear my voice and know I meant him no harm.

He was struggling to take focus, his eyes so clouded with the dark light that even from so close they couldn't see. I didn't know how to help him, only that I could think to do nothing else. Impulsively, I lifted my hand and set it gently against the hard surface of his armor. But being so close to such a powerful aura had called my powers to bear with no way to stop their flow. They drifted across my skin, threading through my fingers in rippling waves that spread out like a soothing caress.

And in response, his breathing evened out, and his eyes finally found the focus he had strained so hard to obtain. He saw me, for perhaps the first time since I had arrived. I saw the recognition in his eyes, the sharp flash of golden waves crashing against amber tides. But it lasted only for an instant before he closed his eyes and looked away.

Shame. I knew it was that he was feeling. Shame to have lost himself again to the dream, to have been so bound by his weakness that he could not escape without my help. He understood what I had done, and he hated it; but even more he hated himself for it.

I'm sure if he could have, he would have left me there, or told me to leave. But he knew, as I did, that if I left, if I took away the light of my powers, he would be lost again to the darkness, to the dreams. He would sleep, and again he would be vulnerable.

A cold wind gusted through the peaks of the mountain, cutting against the moisture settled on my skin from my effort to reach the heights. I shivered, silently cursing my mortal body for its weakness, knowing that it would only make him more aware of what I was and why he had been so intent to keep me away.

I could see it when he turned back to look at me, the resentment that burned in his eyes and which cut more deeply than his blade ever could.

He stepped back from me, pulling away from my touch, and I could do nothing to stop him. But when he turned and began walking away, desperation overtook me.

"Wait!" I called after him, my feet moving towards him without thought. "Where are you going?"

"There is shelter," he replied without looking back.

Every step he took had more weight to it as the flow of my powers faded away and he was again being overtaken by the darkness. By the time he reached the sheltering of rocks that opened into a small cavern in the cliff face, he had been reduced to holding his weight steady against the stones.

When he stopped walking, leaning so heavily against the rock that I feared he would fall, I did not hesitate to move closer to him, to set my hand upon his arm in the barest of touches to infuse him with my strength.

He ripped away from me once he was able to do so and continued on without a word or even a glance towards me. I wanted to yell at him, to scream at his foolishness; but I knew that I could not, that I dared not. So I followed him, matching his pace when it slowed by his disorientation, but keeping my distance.

We were so deep within the mountain that the faint light there had been from outside no longer filtered through the stone. I couldn't see my way ahead any longer, and was forced to grope along the walls to keep myself steady and take small, cautions steps. I was about to stop to pull a light from my bag, when I heard him collapse ahead of me.

I could just barely make out the white of his garments in the pitch surrounding us, but I managed to make my way to him without a light.

"Sesshomaru?" I called his name timidly as I kneeled beside him and placed my hand on his shoulders.

His body jerked, being pulled back abruptly from wherever he had been taken, and he snarled as he pushed me away. "Do not touch me, mortal."

The dangerous glint of his golden eyes in the darkness startled me enough that I pulled back. But my shock was quickly being stolen over by my outrage. I had had all I could take of his cold fury, his resentment, his dismissal of me. I had come to help him, and he had pushed me away. But I wouldn't stand for it. No longer.

"You need me!" I hissed out in accusation. "If I don't touch you, you will fall back into the dreams. Is that what you want? You want to be left open for another attack? Is the thought of accepting my help so repulsive that you would welcome death so readily?"

He growled, the sound massive, filling the space we occupied, reverberating off the rocks until it seemed as though it was coming from everywhere at once. "Better to die with my honor than to be reduced to this…disgrace."

"Don't be stupid!" I retaliated in outrage. "There is no shame in asking for help, only in having too much pride to admit that you need it!"

A sudden shift in the air was the only warning I had before I found myself pinned ruthlessly against the unforgiving stone. My hands came up on instinct to wrap around the taught muscles of his arm, tugging futilely to relieve the pressure from my neck. But his hold was like tempered steel, unyielding and unbreakable.

"You would not be so eager if you knew to what you were committing yourself, miko."

His voice cut through me like daggers of ice and I shivered from the cold that spread through my veins because of it. I drew in a strained and shuddering breath, but refused to give in to the fear. "It doesn't matter. I can't let you suffer like this. I won't let you die like this!"

His hand tightened around my throat, cutting off my air supply completely. I could feel the sharp press of his claws against my skin and the burn of poison threatening to break through. But then, as suddenly as he had had me in his claws, he pulled back again.

"You are foolish to show such compassion for an enemy." His voice was softer now; though still chilled with his cold rage, it was laced with the pain of his suffering.

"But you're not my enemy, Sesshomaru," I replied. "You never were."

"I tried to kill you."

I laughed shortly at his statement. "If I used that to label my enemies, I wouldn't have any friends."

He said nothing for a moment, then murmured a vague, "Hn," and turned away from me to settle himself down against the rocks. I could no longer see the piercing gold of his eyes cutting through the darkness of the cave, and I knew that he had closed his eyes.

"Will you sleep?" I asked, knowing that in sleep he would be bound by the dreams again.

"If I must."

I puzzled over his response for a moment. I knew that he wouldn't want to return to the dreams, not after everything he had suffered because of them. And I knew as well that he would not ask for my help to keep him awake. But, perhaps, I thought, he didn't have to.

"I…" Pausing in nervousness, I bit my lip to try and steady myself. "I should sleep. I do not have your strength or your senses. I can't see in here, wouldn't be able to tell if something was coming."

I took a shaky step towards him, breathed in deeply, and then lowered myself by his side. He was holding himself still, but I know he was focusing on my movements. Slowly, I leaned back against the stone as he was, so close to him that I could feel the soft fibers of the pelt he wore cushioning me against the rock. Swallowing thickly, still hardly believing that I was doing this, I leaned into the soft fur, turning slightly so that I could bring my hand up to rest it on his arm. I could feel his muscles tense beneath my touch, and I closed my eyes tightly, praying silently that he would take my unspoken offer. And, eventually, he did relax.

I sighed in relief, my own tenseness melting away as I too managed to relax. "Maybe," I whispered quietly, not wanting to disturb the delicate peace that we had come to, "Maybe we can talk in the morning."

He didn't respond. Silence descended all around us, no sound in the depths of the stone but for the steady breathing of the two beings sheltered within it. I let myself be wrapped in that silence, in the soft comfort of knowing that I had done all I could for the moment, and that for this night at least, the nightmare would not come again.

I slept. And though I did not dream the dark dreams of the curse, he was still with me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Warmth.  
Fields of sunshine basking in the warm glow  
Where laughter carried on the breeze,  
Soft chimes of joy and merriment.

Peace.  
No more fighting, no more battle.  
Only the comfort of presence,  
The knowledge that I do not walk alone.

There is no need, no urgency, no pain, no fear.  
The darkness has lifted.  
Warmth and comfort are all that remain.

I smile, though not of body,  
For I have none, need none.  
I rejoice because I can finally see.  
And what I see…

Is you.

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This chapter is dedicated to ChaosWingDragon…but only because she pestered me incessantly about continuing it. But, I only wrote it because I found inspiration…somewhere. I don't plan on continuing it at regular intervals, only when I find myself in need of something else to take my mind of other stories. Still, I hope it was alright. It was far more difficult than I would have thought to go back to the style that I had set this piece up with. I hope that I managed to keep the same tone as with the rest of the story.

Anyways, that's all for now. Please R&R to let me know what you think.

Later

Shadow


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